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Tems opens up on being bullied for how her voice sounds while grown up.
Nigerian R&B singer-songwriter Tems recently shared insights into her upbringing, distinctive sound, and personality in an interview with The Cut.
Hailing from Lagos, Nigeria, Tems grew up alongside her brother Tunji and mother. She disclosed that, as a child, she was notably reserved and tended to keep to herself. Remarkably, she revealed that she didn’t begin speaking until the age of at least three, despite harboring a deep love for singing from an early age.
“I was always in my own little world. I wasn’t very social,” Tems said to the American Women magazine.
Tems further opened up about her journey of self-evolution, acknowledging that she underwent various stages before becoming the confident version of herself that her fans have come to know and love.
As a young Temilade, she shared that she was conscious of her speaking voice, feeling different from other girls who had softer tones, even when singing. According to The Cut, her unique voice led to instances of bullying by other children, reaching a point where it brought her to tears.
An excerpt from the piece reads, “She didn’t speak much, didn’t have much of a social circle, and her status as an outcast made her a target of ridicule. Sometimes she would cover her head with a blazer, and she kept mostly to herself.”
Outside of the school environment, Tems frequently encountered unsolicited comments and advice from strangers, particularly concerning the pitch of her voice.
Unfortunately, these unwarranted remarks took a toll on her self-esteem, causing her to internalize negative beliefs about her own voice. She began to perceive herself as sounding like a boy, a frog, or in some way unattractive, contributing to a decline in her confidence.
“All the other girls had these sweet, high voices, and my voice had bass,” Tems said.
During her time in secondary school, Tems discovered a newfound confidence, thanks to the guidance of her music teacher. This transformative period played a crucial role in shaping her into the super-confident woman that audiences see today.
Embracing her uniqueness, she adopted a resilient mindset, expressing, “If you think I sound like a man, I think that’s pretty cool—I’m gonna sound more like a man. I started to want that deepness. I wanted to lean into my weirdness.” These empowering words from the singer herself reflect a valuable perspective on self-acceptance and embracing individuality.